Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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