When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
