i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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