How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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