im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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