He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
