I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
please come you make the beer taste better
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
