dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
