You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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