HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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