i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
