he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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