I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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