Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
