i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
