i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
