I hope mine doesn't look like that
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
