i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
