he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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