This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
