We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
