i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
