that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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