Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
