yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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