She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
