I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I came so hard my ears popped.
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