and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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