its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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