Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
