So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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