What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
