found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
