I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
