Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
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