Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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