Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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