Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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