ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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