There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
are you so shy because you have an std?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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