He uses pillows to masturbate.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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