hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
