I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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