well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
