after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
