well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was like eating out sand paper
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
