do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
