Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
