Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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