I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
