I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
