My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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