You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
