And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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